No Regrets
by Ficta Scriptor
Summary: Twilight's ascension to becoming an alicorn princess has caused her great happiness, but as the notion of immortality dawns on her she is plagued by doubts. At the end of her emotional tether, she finds solace with the Element of Honesty. To have no regrets would mean the world.
1. Prologue

No Regrets

"Princess Celestia, I need to ask you something important."

"Go ahead, Twilight."

"It's about… being an alicorn."

The Princess of the Sun kept up her smile, draping a wing around her protégé. "I believe I know what troubles you."

Twilight looked away, her face growing hot. It had been several weeks since she had officially become a princess. Celestia, Luna and Cadence had all chipped in with their advice on stepping into the shoes of royalty. From posture and poise, to the art of keeping oneself collected in a time of crisis, to detailed information about how the monarchy governs each sector of Equestria, everything had been laid out to her, crystal clear.

Her friends had all helped to make the life-changing event that much more wonderful. Each of them in turn showed their support, showering her with praise and frequently dropping the 'Princess' title to make her swell with pride. Rainbow Dash was determined to teach her how to fly like a Wonderbolt while Pinkie Pie had designed a whole new brand of princess-themed cakes. Everypony was proud of her. Everypony was happy for her. They were doing everything that they should, except…

Nopony made any mention of the burden that came with her newfound ascension to royalty. They all knew the truth. They all knew how astronomical this change was but like an unspoken rule her immortality was a mandatory taboo. None of them even dared to hint at such things, including Twilight herself. And she wasn't sure if it was simply paranoia, but there had been several times where one of her friends would stutter, falter, or retract their words. When she thought about it, she realised just how easy it was to notion the inevitability of death in everyday conversation.

"_Ah'll probably be runnin' this farm 'til the end of mah days!"_

"_I'm not gonna waste my life with small fry!"_

"_I hope that in generations to come…"_

The more she looked back, the more she could sense the obvious disparity. She knew that it was because her friends cared about her, but could they also be jealous? Did they wish for eternal life? Did they talk about her in secret, damning their mortal bodies? Did she deserve this? Did _they _deserve this?

All she had to do was talk to them. All she had to do was bring it out into the open and it would be a relief to them all. No longer would they have to tread on eggshells, hiding their true feelings. But then, what if she didn't like what they had to say? What if they didn't like what _she _had to say? Over and over, every eventuality that her mind could bring forth was spun, twisted and stretched until she couldn't take it anymore. Perhaps it was better to just ignore the subject and go on as if nothing had ever happened. It wasn't as if waiting it out was a problem for her…

"It's OK, my child," Celestia assured, nodding her head sagely. "To tell you the truth, I expected this sooner."

Twilight forced a smile at her mentor, her heart aching with every moment. "Is it absolute? Am I really going to live forever?"

"Perhaps not forever, but the lifespan of an alicorn far exceeds that of any other living creature."

Twilight's head drooped, her smile falling to a look of pure disdain. "So it _is _true. I always knew it was, but it's strange to hear about it, knowing what I am." The lavender pony took a deep breath, trying her best not to let her emotions take over. After all, it was 'un-princess-like'. "I know it's for the good of Equestria. Why have a ruler who needs to be replaced when you can have them live on? I knew about all this before I even became a princess, but now that it's happened and it's final I feel so…" She looked up into Celestia's eyes, wishing that she could put every ounce of her inner turmoil into words. "I don't know what I feel."

"I understand, Twilight," the ruler replied warmly. "It is not easy; it never has been. You fear what will happen once your friends grow old, yes?"

A lump formed in the alicorn's throat as she imagined the graves of her friends laid out in front of her, their coffins being lowered into the dirt from whence they came. "I'm terrified," she said in a hoarse whisper. "And with all due respect, Princess, some days I wish I could die with them."

Celestia's expression grew more concerned, her usual demeanour fading into a look that Twilight had never seen on her idol. "Come with me," she said firmly, rising to her hooves. "I want to show you something."

There was a pang of fear in the young mare's heart as she paced after the Princess. For a moment, she was convinced that Celestia was furious with her for admitting her true feelings. After all, what would the ponies of Equestria think if she made them public? Anypony who might wish for their own demise was undoubtedly unfit to be a ruler.

She was led through the winding halls of the Royal Palace until they reached Celestia's own chambers. "Come inside," the Princess said with a stern look.

Her pulse racing faster than ever, Twilight gulped nervously and obliged. To be called into the sanctity of Celestia's own room meant that she should be scorned away from the ears and eyes other pony-folk, that she should suffer the full wrath of the most powerful pony on earth!

The white alicorn sighed, pulling on a cord with her magic and filling the room with sunlight despite the fact that there were no windows. The marbled floor was an almost dazzling pearl and the walls were somehow colourless, yet reflected a rainbow of colours across the contents of the room. In the centre was a massive four-poster bed with deep-red silk drapes.

Twilight was led _past _this, to a row of finely polished mahogany drawers, their edges lined with golden accents. Celestia opened one right at the far corner using her magic and brought out a colossal, leather-bound tome. There was no visible insignia or indentation on the cover, but the well-worn pages and branching creases across the spine made it clear that this book was incredibly old.

Celestia took to Twilight's side, the young mare now more curious than ever. "This is something that I've never shown anyone, not even my sister," The Princess of the Sun began, slowly opening to the first page. It showed a pencilled picture depicting five of the Elements of Harmony, the familiar symbols replaced with different coloured orbs. The Element of Magic — the crown that stood atop Twilight's head at that very moment — was curiously absent. "I believe that you are the first who would truly benefit from this book."

"How do you mean, Princess? If it's about the Elements of Harmony, I thought that I'd learned all there was to know about them."

"In a way, you have," Celestia replied, giving her student a comforting smile. "But there are some things you do not know about their history."

"I thought that they were created to defeat Nightmare Moon."

"That is not entirely correct, Twilight. Nor were they created to defeat Discord before that. The Elements were created by my mother, Queen Galaxia, as a way of maintaining peace throughout Equestria. She was the original Element of Magic, but that title was eventually passed down to me shortly before her death.

"The other Elements can only show their true power if the bearer shows an affinity for the appropriate trait. This has meant that finding a group of ponies who can represent honesty, kindness, generosity, laughter and loyalty is not always possible. It requires what I like to call a 'spark' — a magical tampering of pony-kind's life-force — to usher in the birth of acceptable bearers. I believe that you have already learned something about this from Rainbow Dash."

Twilight nodded her head solemnly, glancing over the open pages of the book. This wasn't the truth that she had expected. "The sonic-rainboom, how we all got our cutie marks. So… this was all planned?"

"All except for one thing. _You._"

Twilight gulped nervously. "M—me?"

"That is correct. The 'spark' of the other five elements was entirely intentional, but your sudden burst of magical power was _not_. You showed incredible prowess at such a young age, something that I had never witnessed before. And yet, your powers only grow stronger."

Twilight furrowed her brow, taken aback by this new revelation. "So… if you never planned for me, how would you have chosen the Element of Magic?"

Celestia paused for a moment, her eyes glimmering in the sunlight which magically filled the room. "Nopony would have been chosen. The previous Element of Magic would have taken your place. _Me_."

"You!?" Twilight gasped in surprise, her jaw dropping. "But… I thought..."

"I am aware that it must be a shock, but I have been the Element of Magic countless times over thousands of years. Only with the help of mortal ponies capable of wielding the other Elements have I been able to fend off all manner of foes throughout the ages. After my mother, Galaxia, I would be the second Element of Magic, making you the third."

Twilight looked away from her mentor for a moment, tears forming in her eyes. Everything that she'd been told about herself — her _destiny _— was nothing more than a means to an end. Celestia finally found a pony capable of being the Element of Magic and had decided to grant her immortality. _For the good of Equestria, _if Twilight remembered the Princess' words.

"But… but why didn't you just make a 'spark' instead?" the young mare questioned, her emotions involuntarily seeping into her words. "Why haven't there been other bearers?"

"There were two previous attempts to promote a new Element of Magic but both ended in catastrophic failure. Power corrupts, and magical power in particular can corrupt some far beyond even my own reach. You already know of one of them — King Sombra."

"Sombra was going to be an Element?" Twilight said in awe, thinking back to her triumph over the fiend.

Celestia nodded. "I'm afraid so. His powers drove him mad, eventually compelling him to prolong his lifespan and cast a shroud across the entire Crystal Empire. The _other _one I mentioned has been stricken from the history books for good reason." The Princess frowned slightly, her expression growing sterner. "We no longer speak of her."

"I see," whispered Twilight, wondering what horrific tragedies this other pony could have caused. Given that Celestia was willing to share facts that no other pony knew of, for this one mare to remain a secret was unnerving. "So, why me? Am I not in danger of being corrupted?"

"Of course not, Twilight. Admittedly, upon first witnessing your magical abilities there was some cause for alarm. However, while teaching you all these years I finally realised that there was no need for worry. I have been there to guide you since your first entrance exam and I have absolute faith in you. Otherwise, I would not have allowed you to become what you are now."

Twilight blushed. "Thank you, Princess."

"I am glad that you're able to take this information on board, Twilight, but this was not the main reason I brought you here." Celestia opened up the book again and turned a few pages, revealing what Twilight initially mistook for a photograph, but was actually a meticulously drawn picture of five ponies stood together outside the gates of Canterlot. However, it was easy to mistake this as the scenery behind them was vastly different to the Canterlot that she knew. The Royal Complex was missing several spires, the buildings were more sparsely placed and the roads were paved with jade-coloured bricks.

"When was this taken? Or I guess I should ask; when was this drawn?"

"This was Canterlot as it stood just over a thousand years ago, and these were the Elements of Harmony that helped me banish Nightmare Moon."

"Oh my goodness…"

Celestia turned another page, revealing more pictures. Some of them showed the aforementioned bearers with their husbands and children, their smiles as bright as the sun that shone behind them. Another page was turned, and one final picture showed all six Elements of Harmony together, Celestia stood proudly behind them, not looking a day younger than she was at that very moment. It was difficult for Twilight to fathom that this was a thousand years old. Each of these ponies was now dead, as were their children, and their children's children, and…

Twilight's curiosity had now morphed into gut-wrenching sadness. She didn't know what Celestia was trying to prove, or why she was being shown this in the first place. A lone tear trickled down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Princess. I don't think I can look anymore."

Undeterred, Celestia draped a wing around her student and turned another page with more pictures of the previous Elements. "I am not doing this to hurt you, Twilight. I wish to _help _you."

"But all those ponies are dead, just like my friends will be. How… how do you deal with it?"

"I deal with it by keeping my memories close to my heart. Failing that, I keep them here, in this book. I do not wish to be saddened by the passing of my friends. Rather, I wish to remember all the great times we shared and the bonds that we made, things that might truly last forever. I was lucky enough to meet these wonderful ponies and watch them grow, find love, have children of their own and live wholesome, fruitful lives. I keep this book to remind me that these were ponies worth remembering, that the joy I felt from times we shared outweighs any heartache of their passing." Celestia huddled closer to the distressed alicorn, stroking a hoof through her mane. "So long as you can remember that, dearest Twilight, life doesn't have to be so bad."

The former unicorn attempted a smile as Celestia browsed through the rest of the book, telling her stories about ponies like Sugar Rush — a cheery-looking mare with a red and white stripy mane, much like a candy cane — and Tour-De Force — a legendary pegasus stallion with immense strength. She mostly just listened to these tales, only making a few fleeting comments. These ponies looked so happy, so full of _life_.

Despite the heavy weight still latched onto her heart, Twilight found herself smiling truthfully. Her mentor was right. There was no need to get depressed, especially since all her friends were still alive — still there for her. Why mope around when she could be making sure that her friends led the lives that they deserved? Being upset would accomplish nothing.

"Thank you, Princess," Twilight said with a respectful bow.

No longer was she filled with sadness. With a new sense of duty she felt that she could take on anything. There was no need to dwell on what would come. For now, she would live for the present.

This new, focused mind-set invigorated her, viciously quashing her doubts and worries.

At least, it _used _to be this way.


	2. Chapter 1 - Bonds

Chapter 1 – Bonds

_Five years later_

For centuries, the Grand Galloping Gala was organised by Princess Celestia and her personal assistants. However, for the first time ever, that job had been handed to somepony else. Princess Twilight Sparkle had been given total control of the affair after proving her worth when helping Celestia the previous year.

She had made some slight changes to the usual proceedings, though nothing too drastic. For once, foals were allowed to attend. While this was met with some concerns from her subjects, ultimately, her word would always win over theirs and the new rule was pushed forward. This meant that Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Applebloom could be present, though Applebloom had decided not to come for one reason or another. It was a shame, but Twilight was sure that she would be able to make an appearance next year.

As the alicorn put on her royal attire — an exact replica of the gown that she'd adorned during her coronation — the memory of her first trip to the Gala flooded her mind. She couldn't help but chuckle as she remembered the pure terror of finding the main hall wrecked by her friends, followed quickly by a sterling appraisal from Celestia herself. It was funny how things worked out the way they did.

"Almost done," she muttered to herself as she carefully adjusted her crown. It was necessary to be extremely precise when doing this or it was in danger of falling off, something which had happened during a visit to the Crystal Empire whilst giving a speech on maintaining stability, of all things. Her royal guff was only outmatched by Cadence's impromptu fit of giggles, a moment that would be remembered by many as 'The day the world saw how juvenile princesses could be.'

Satisfied that she was now ready for the eyes of the public, Twilight took a deep breath and left her personal quarters. She was met by her two personal guards — Scimitar and Claymore — who stood to attention and smiled as she passed them by.

Scimitar had a full-white pelt and soft red mane, and was the younger of the two. He was a little more talkative, and appeared to genuinely love his job for what it was, more so than the ramifications of protecting royalty. While Twilight had never had the opportunity to see him outside of his current role, she imagined him to be a bit of a joker judging by his occasionally cheeky grin.

Claymore had a light-grey pelt and black mane and was a lot more serious than his colleague. In many ways, he respected her the most, and was undoubtedly devoted to his work. He had worked for Princess Celestia for many years and had come with the highest of recommendations, though he wasn't the best of ponies when it came to lightening the mood. Still, he was what most guards should strive to be.

It had taken a little while for her to get used to the idea of bodyguards, and the two pegasus stallions had initially acted incredibly formal at all times, sometimes not so much as saying a word unless she asked them a question beforehoof. It was awkward in those days, but after some time together and a bit of hard work, she managed to get them to loosen up just a little. Still, there were some days where she wondered how they would treat her if she wasn't a princess, if they were just friends. Would they laugh and joke alongside her, no longer being afraid of saying something out of line?

_If I wasn't a princess_

"Evening, Princess," Claymore greeted with a quick nod. "Ready to meet our guests?"

"Yes, of course," she replied, slowly trotting her way down the marbled hallways of Canterlot Palace. "I take it that all the preparations have gone according to plan?"

"Yes, your highness," Scimitar answered. "Everything's gone without a hitch. I believe your friends are waiting for you in the lobby. Thankfully, they haven't started a fight this time."

Claymore gave his colleague a stern look but Twilight merely chuckled at the remark. She could remember last year when Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust met once again, the wavy blonde-haired pegasus starting out on a heated rant. Despite trying her best to ignore the threats, Rainbow Dash's brash nature lead to her pushing the mare away, accidentally sending her flying into a nearby buffet table. From here, Lightning Dust went all out, and the two ponies had to be broken up by the royal guards.

"Yes, well we wouldn't want that to happen again," Twilight grinned. "Though I'm guessing Miss Dust won't be making an appearance any time soon."

"Of course not, your highness," Scimitar answered again. "There are strict orders to detain her on sight."

"Excellent."

The three ponies made their way down a large staircase that led to the main foyer. It was here that Twilight had experienced her 'worst night ever', and had been stuck greeting guests alongside her idol and mentor for almost the entire evening. However, this was _her _Grand Galloping Gala, and there was no way that she would resign herself to a glorified receptionist. If anything, she would want to be a part of the festivities as much as anypony else.

A large crowd had already gathered, mostly residents of Canterlot (made obvious by their 'prim and proper' demeanour more so than their attire) followed by a few cardinals, countesses and chancellors, and finally a few visitors from afar. The turnout appeared to be even greater than previous years, which Twilight supposed could only be a good thing.

Two trumpeters awaited her at either sides of the staircase and let out a short burst of fanfare, gaining everypony's attention.

"Presenting her royal highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle!" one of them chanted, resulting in a string of bows and murmurs of approval from the crowd. Twilight smiled and raised a foreleg in salute, her silver horseshoes gleaming in the light from the surrounding chandeliers. A silence came over the room and she took a step forward to address her guests.

"It is with great pleasure and honour that I welcome you all to the annual Grand Galloping Gala. I hereby wish for you all to have the best night ever, so please enjoy yourselves! I know that I shall be doing the same."

Her statement was followed by a round of applause and smiles all around. Taking her cue, Twilight slowly began to make her way down the steps, her two guards at her side. Everypony around her looked ecstatic to merely even be in her presence. She was adored and revered in more ways than one, though this was merely commonplace for her nowadays.

"There's no need to stay by my side for now," she told Scimitar and Claymore, looking to each of them in turn. "All I require is your protection. I have no doubt that you can do so from a veritable distance."

"Yes, Princess," the two guards answered in unison, taking a bow and hanging back while she sauntered through the restless sea of ponies. She would be approached by many a delighted citizen that night, but none were as important as the five friends waiting anxiously in the courtyard. It wasn't often that she had the chance to spend time with them all at once, and at such a momentous occasion.

Of course, there were times when she wished she could go back to the days of old, living happily in Golden Oaks library. It fell far short of the wondrous collection of tomes in the Canterlot archives, but it was quaint — _homely _even. Still, she couldn't be prouder to stand as one of the pillars of Equestria alongside Celestia, Luna and Cadence. It genuinely was a dream come true.

Twilight trotted through the main foyer doors — smiling politely to everypony on her way — when she was startled by a pony barrelling down from the skies and landing right in front of her.

"Gee, what took you so long?" Rainbow Dash teased, shaking her head with a smirk across her face. "Who knew the royal underpants took three weeks to put on? Must be a new record."

"Nice to see you too," Twilight replied, rolling her eyes. "I see you've not changed a bit."

"Me? Change? I'm too _fast _for change!"

"I guess…" _Since when does that make sense? _Twilight mused, but said nothing of it. Truth be told, she was simply thrilled to see her daring friend again. She noticed that Rainbow Dash was wearing a new outfit that bore some resemblance to traditional Wonderbolt attire, but the fabric had a reflective property to it, and darker streaks of blue.

"I know, pretty cool, right?" Rainbow Dash commented as she saw Twilight looking over her. "It's made from this new fibre-mesh stuff that's totally snug and reduces wind resistance. But enough about me, are you gonna join our friends or what?"

"I'd like nothing more," Twilight answered, and spread her wings. Flying wasn't something she had much opportunity to do anymore, but it quickly came back to her as she glided over the crowds after her impatient friend.

The courtyard decorations certainly made for an interesting sight; it wasn't often that the _outside _of the palace was lit up in this way. More to the point, the steady hum of chatter and smell of freshly cooked food from the buffet tables awakened her senses. The air somehow felt cleaner today, as if every breath invigorated her more than usual.

After a fairly short flight, Twilight eventually saw her friends huddled in a group at the far side. Celestia was with them, speaking to Applejack and Fluttershy who were listening attentively. Pinkie Pie was shovelling cake down her gullet and attempting to get Rarity to try some, but the dainty unicorn was merely wincing uncomfortably. Not far from them, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Spike were chatting away feverishly, cheerful grins on their faces. The three of them had grown so much in just a few years, and Spike now stood at the height of a typical pony.

Spike was still her faithful assistant, but he no longer dogged her as he did once before. His duties were split between all three Princesses living in Canterlot, and he even had a dorm to himself. Twilight wasn't sure, but recently he'd been going through his 'teenage years', getting restless and grumpy. On the flipside, he was more outgoing, and appeared to have a soft spot for Sweetie Belle. His fondness for Rarity had dwindled ever since the mare's first string of colt-friends, (something that Twilight didn't know very much about, but had no interest in finding out. She considered that it was probably better _not _to know) but had made good friends with the Cutie Mark Crusaders during his occasional visits back to Ponyville. Whether Sweetie Belle might actually feel the same was less of a cute thought now than it was a possible concern. Not that she wanted to know about any of that either.

"Look who I found prancing about," Rainbow Dash announced as she touched down beside the group.

"Twilight!" Pinkie yelled, and managed to leap twenty feet into the air and grab the startled alicorn to the ground. The excitable earth pony wrapped her forelegs around into an even tighter hug. "I've missed you _so _much! I can't wait to tell you about all the fun I've been having! Did you hear that Sugarcube Corner got an award for best cakes? It was _amazing_! I haven't calmed down since!"

"I'm… happy to… see you to…" Twilight managed to gasp out, using her magic to pry away the party pony. Pinkie's hugs needed an insurmountable amount of magic to break. "But I'm also happy when I can breathe."

Catching her breath, Twilight took a moment to gaze over her friends, each of them wearing beautiful dresses crafted by none other than Rarity. The exception was Spike, who was wearing a dashing tuxedo especially tailored for him by one of the Royal dressmakers. Given his rapid growth, maintaining his selection of outfits was almost a full-time job in itself.

"Perhaps I should take my leave, my little ponies," Celestia announced. "By the way, Twilight, I am most impressed with the festivities. Your organisational skills are truly second to none."

"Thank you, Princess," Twilight said, blushing at her mentor's compliment.

"Perhaps next time you can manage it _and _be on time," Celestia added.

"Huh!? I'm… I'm sorry for—" For a moment, Twilight thought that she was being disciplined, but Celestia's smirk told her that it was just a friendly bout of poking fun, something that was fairly rare for the Princess of the Sun. It had only really become apparent during the last few years, now that they were both practically equals. "Sure, I get it," Twilight finally stated, offering a sheepish grin. "I guess I did get a bit carried away with trying to make sure everything went according to plan when I should have been worrying more about meeting up with my friends."

"Oh, it's OK, Twilight," Fluttershy said as she stepped forward, wrapping a hoof around Twilight's neck. "We know you wanted this to be perfect, and it is! Everything is so beautiful here."

Twilight's other friends quickly gathered round into an intense group hug. The bond between them was as strong as ever; it was as if she'd never left Ponyville in the first place. With Sweetie Belle's encouragement, Spike begrudgingly entered the fray, ushering a few giggles from the surrounding mares as he pretended not to enjoy the moment.

"It's great to be back together again," Applejack commented with a nod, ruffling Twilight's mane playfully. The lavender alicorn couldn't help but get flustered, basking in the fulfilling glow of her friends' company. "Now what's say we get this party started?"

"Oh, Applejack!" Pinkie exclaimed, looking strangely cross. "That's _my _line! _I'm _the party pony around here! You'd better not be trying to steal my destiny!"

"Gee, Pinkie, Ah'm sorry," Applejack replied, stifling a giggle. "The party don't start 'til you say so."

"Darn straight!" Pinkie bellowed, stomping a hoof down defiantly. "And thusly I decree that this party has now… started!" Her usually cheerful demeanour quickly returned as she bounced around giddily, almost knocking over an elderly stallion who was walking by.

"Hey, Twilight," Rainbow Dash whispered. "On your six. I think there's somepony who _liiiiiiiikes _you! He's been checking you out this whole time!"

Twilight blushed, but turned around anyway to see what Dash was getting at. As soon as she realised who the mare was referring to, she immediately face-hoofed. "Rainbow, you do realise that Scimitar's my personal guard? It's his _job _to watch over me."

"I… I knew that!" the pegasus stammered, trying to retain an air of confidence. "But… but who's to say I'm wrong?"

"I must admit," Rarity began, gazing wearily into thin air. "It would be quite the romantic dream, would it not? The lowly guard bottling up his feelings for the one he serves, desperately building up the courage to express his love. He'd write you the most beautiful poetry, shower you with gifts that even the most regal of ponies could not acquire, and you'd fly happily into the sunset…"

"Hate to break it to you, Rarity," Rainbow Dash chided. "Do you _know _how ridiculous and cliché that sounds? And for the record, I'm not sure Twilight should be taking relationship advice from someone with so many notches on her bedposts that she's practically sleeping on a pile of sawdust."

"How _dare _you!?" Rarity exclaimed, poking a hoof in Dash's face. She apparently hadn't noticed Sweetie Belle and Spike bursting into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. "And who are you to say such things? Are you saying that you could give out better advice than me? Hmm!?"

"I never said _that_," Rainbow Dash argued, seeming content with how her little joke went down. "If anything, Fluttershy and Pinkie would make better role models."

Fluttershy visibly shook with terror, quickly leaping behind Pinkie Pie. "Leave me out of this!" she shrieked.

"Don't be so shy, Fluttershy!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "Oh wait, except that the word 'shy' is in your name. If you weren't shy then I wouldn't have to be pink, and I _love _being pink! It's like the best colour ever!"

As her friends chatted away, Twilight couldn't help but chuckle to herself, slowly garnering the attention of everypony else.

"What'cha laughin' at, sugarcube?" Applejack asked.

"It's nothing, don't worry," Twilight replied, bringing her laughter under control. In truth, simply watching her friends bicker and joke made her happy, in a funny sort of way. She was reminded that despite everything that had changed over the years, her friends were still the same loving, dysfunctional band of merry ponies that they ever were. After so long since the last time they'd been together like this, she was touched by how natural it felt to be in their presence, as if they'd been beside her each and every day.

It was still strange, and often endearing to think of how much her friends had achieved over these few years, things that she wouldn't have even imagined back in the day. About two years ago, Fluttershy and Big Mac got married. It turned out that the two of them had been having a relationship in secret for a while, and when word first got out that they were together everypony assumed that they had only just begun to meet up, prompting a string of 'sagely advice' — primarily from Rarity — on how best to pursue this relationship. Under immense pressure from her friends, Fluttershy let slip that she'd been dating Big Mac for a long time and had managed everything all on her own. Everypony was shocked, especially Applejack, who didn't seem especially pleased that she of all ponies had been kept in the dark. However, the two mares quickly made up and became even closer friends.

Pinkie wasn't yet married, but it seemed like an eventual inevitability. Just over a year ago was the Equestrian Bake-Off — a contest for aspiring bakers and pastry chefs alike — Pinkie's main competition came in the form of an earth pony stallion by the name of Chocolate Chip. Despite being intense rivals to begin with — hurling abuse at each other and doing their best to psyche one another out — everything changed when Chip's entry was ruined by an ant infestation. He was so distraught that Pinkie couldn't help but feel sorry for him, eventually agreeing to help him bake something even better. Chip's 'crazy cookie' as it was called eventually won the contest, but he dedicated his prize to Pinkie, and the two of them kissed on the spot. (Though perhaps a little too passionately for the foals who were present)

At least, Twilight assumed that this was all true. She'd not been there to witness it. It was a shame, but as long as her friends were happy, that meant everything.

"So what do you say we get this show on the road?" chimed Pinkie Pie, leaping into the air with untold fervour. "We ain't got all day! First stop, the buffet!"

"Sheesh, Pinkie," Rainbow Dash scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You've practically cleared entire tables of buffet food. How can you even think about _more_ food?"

"'Cause… what goes in must come out, Dashie!"

The rest of the group exchanged a series of uncomfortable looks. "I don't even wanna know how that's your explanation," Rainbow said with a sigh.

"Actually, I was thinking of having a dance," Twilight suggested. She noticed Rarity smiling sheepishly at the thought. "And don't worry, I've improved a lot since that _one_ time."

"Well thank _heavens_," Rarity let out unsubtly, looking physically relieved. "I dare say a dance sounds like an excellent idea. Who knows, I could meet my Mister Right!"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash gave each other a knowing look, trying their best not to laugh. Everypony hurried along to the dance-floor except for Spike, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. "We'll catch you guys later, OK!?" the purple dragon called over.

"Sure thing," Twilight replied. "Just keep yourselves out of trouble, OK?"

"No worries," Spike shot back, waving casually. The two teenage mares said their goodbyes and began walking alongside their draconian friend. "Remember," he whispered. "If anypony asks, you're both eighteen. Got it?"

"Wait, what was that?" Rarity asked the group, her ears pricked up. "Did he just… are they…!?"

"Ah'm pretty sure they're just tryin' their hoof and claw at getting' some punch," Applejack said with a sly grin. "Can't say Ah never tried the same thing when Ah was their age, an' Ah've loved cider ever since!"

Rainbow Dash grabbed the stock still unicorn by the tail and dragged her along, etching deep hoof-marks into the soft ground. Twilight's group of friends were garnering a few discerning looks from the surrounding ponies, but the Princess wasn't in the mood for caring about public appearance. Strutting off towards the ballroom housing the world famous Treble-Clef Orchestra, she was determined to have a night to remember. _And for all the _right _reasons, _she thought to herself.

The night got off to a good start — Rarity had finally begun moving again by the time they'd reached the dance-floor — as the six friends started up a conga line and prompted others to join. While at first a little sceptical, the Elements of Harmony did manage to invite (and coerce) others to join their line. It wasn't every day that somepony got to dance with a princess, a Wonderbolt, a famous fashion designer, a province-renowned pastry chef and… well, _the other two_.

Twilight thought for a moment as she considered each of her friends. In their own way, they had all managed something remarkable. Despite not gaining any kind of monetary or fame-filled achievement, Fluttershy was still the first to find love and the first to get married. And if Twilight's guess was as good as she thought it was, she'd also be the first to bear a foal. It was a fitting endeavour for such a kind-hearted mare. Spike had turned out to be an excellent assistant for every royal in Canterlot and Applejack…

Twilight paused for a second — momentarily disrupting the conga line — as she thought about her farm-pony friend. For all of Applejack's good deeds over the years and her cherished support towards all of her friends, the orange earth pony was still doing as she had always done. She ran the farm, she bucked apples… Nothing had really changed. And yet, of all the ponies in this tightly knit group, Twilight couldn't help but think that she deserved the most. It was true that she'd seen less of Applejack than the others, though not for a lack of trying on the country mare's part.

After an exhausting few minutes the conga line dispersed, leaving behind a volley of laughter between the usual stuck-up Canterlot crowd. (Not that Twilight was privy to insults and generalisations, mind you) The musicians — who had taken it upon themselves to perform a unique and fast-paced melody for the occasion — took a bow as an applause emerged, gradually building up to cheers of approval. They took to their seats once again and started with a softer, more notably 'classic' symphony.

"OK, now let's do it again, but backwards!" Pinkie bellowed, receiving only looks of dread and mirth. Disappointed by the reaction, Pinkie folded her forelegs together and frowned. "Seriously guys!? The reverse conga is Chip's favourite! Or is it the reverse co—"

"Well I must say, that was quite the workout," Rarity exclaimed, fanning herself dramatically. Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to comment but was quickly cut off by Applejack's swift hoof. "I daresay you should host more events like this, Twilight."

"Well I can't make any promises, but I'll see what I can do." Twilight ruffled her wings and stretched out her limbs. It wasn't often that she would engage in physically strenuous activities, and the need to take a pew struck her like a lightning bolt. "I think I'd better take a breather for now," she sighed, relaxing against one of the cushioned white-oak seats that lined the edge of the ballroom.

"Pfft! What a wuss!" Rainbow scoffed as she leapt into the air and performed a quadruple loop-de-loop, landing with untold grace and looking as if she'd expended but a single drop of energy. "Just because you're a princess doesn't mean you have an excuse to be lazy!"

"_That_ is no way to speak to royalty," Rarity piped up, having had enough of Rainbow Dash's behaviour that evening. "Or indeed a friend who just happens to be royalty. If Twilight should indeed wish to put her hooves up we should accommodate that need."

"No need to put it quite like _that,_" Twilight said with a blush. "I'm not here to chain anypony down."

"Well I think perhaps you expect too little from us, dear Twilight. However, you can rest assured that I wouldn't dare stray from your imposed ideals if my lif—" Rarity stopped mid-sentence and bolted from the group with hurricane-like speed, stopping on a dime next to a familiar, high-class unicorn. "Fancy Pants? Well _fancy _meeting you here?"

Rainbow Dash sighed, gesturing towards her as if to say, 'you see?' "Well I'd hate to be a party pooper—"

"They're the worst ponies ever!" Pinkie interrupted, waving a hoof angrily.

"—but I'd rather keep the party swinging than take a break. Grand Galloping Gala is only once a year, right?" The pegasus took to the air, a mischievous grin on her face. "Let's tear this place up!"

"Let the tearing commence!" Pinkie yelled, leaping up and giving Rainbow Dash a bro-hoof. The two ponies barrelled excitedly towards the door, knocking over an entire platter of hors d'oeuvres from an unsuspecting waiter — which Pinkie then caught in her mouth, munching away with swollen cheeks.

"Want me to lasso 'em?" Applejack asked half-jokingly, rolling her eyes as Twilight face-hoofed. "You'd have thought they'd grown outta that by now, shucks."

"It's alright," the alicorn replied, taking a deep, calming breath. Cadence's old trick was just as useful as it had been since day one. "It can't possibly end as badly as _last _time."

Fluttershy had bashfully trotted through the two mares' path of destruction, offering a sincere apology to anypony that had been knocked over or left in a distressed state, of which there were many. Twilight marvelled at how much the timid little pegasus had grown. The memory of their first meeting — with Fluttershy unable to even introduce herself — passed before her eyes. _Everything was simple back then, wasn't it? So much has changed. So much, except…_

"Applejack, how have you been?"

"Can't complain," the farm pony remarked casually, casting a disapproving glance towards Rarity, who was practically draping herself over Fancy Pants. "Same old, same old, Ah guess."

"And you're OK with that?"

Twilight's response caught Applejack by surprise, the earth pony turning to give her full attention. "Ah don't quite see what yer gettin' at."

Twilight sighed, motioning for her friend to take a seat next to her. Applejack did so hesitantly, as if expecting some kind of bad news. Observing the look on the mare's face, Twilight stretched her lips into a sincere, friendly smile. "Applejack, we don't really get much chance to talk like we used to."

"Same fer all of us though, ain't it?" she shot back, almost a little _too _quickly.

"Very true, but I've probably spoken to you the least."

"Well Ah do apologise on account of those tress in need of buckin'. Ah'll certainly try harder in future."

"That's… that's not what I was getting at. How can I put this…?" Twilight scratched her forehead, as if trying to extract her very thoughts. "Even with all my duties as Princess I still think about you all. That's something that's not left me ever since I ascended. But I… I'm _worried _about you, Applejack."

"Worried?" The earth pony blushed, shifting her gaze away momentarily. "Ah appreciate your concern but Ah don't really know what yer talkin' about."

"Maybe I really _do _have nothing to worry about, but I'd rather be sure than just assume something like that."

Applejack nodded solemnly. "Can't argue with that Ah guess."

"Good. Now I don't want you to take this the wrong way or anything, but Applejack…" Twilight took a deep breath, placing a hoof on the mare's shoulder. "Do you need help?"

"Help? With what?"

"Perhaps you can tell _me_."

Applejack paused for a moment, her face bearing an incalculable emotion. "Ah'm confused."

"Are you happy with your life, Applejack?" Twilight blurted out. "Don't you wonder if you deserve something more? I want what's best for you, really, and well… The rest have us have done so much, and I can't help but feel that you're—"

"Ah don't know if Ah like what I'm hearin'," Applejack huffed with a flash of anger, pushing away Twilight's hoof. "You pityin' me? Is that it? Poor old Applejack wastin' her life away on the farm? Ah guess you think you're better than me!"

"That's not what I'm saying at all!" Twilight exclaimed, garnering the attention of a few passing ponie. Still, she didn't care about that. "Applejack, I want you to look me dead in the eyes and tell me with complete honesty that you're happy with your life, that you don't wish for something more. If you can do that then I'll drop this subject and never speak of it again. You have my word."

For almost a minute nothing was said between them, the two mares staring off into the crowd as everypony else was enraptured in conversation. Rarity seemed to be receiving some desired attention from Fancy Pants, while Claymore and Scimitar stood diligently at the other side of the ballroom. Finally, Applejack took a deep breath and spoke.

"Why d'you have to bring up somethin' like this now, Twi?" she asked in a half-whisper, twiddling her hooves awkwardly. "Ain't today about just havin' a good time?"

"Maybe I thought some things needed to be said, regardless of what's going on. And how often do I get a chance to speak to you one-on-one like this?"

The earth pony shuffled in her seat. "Ah guess so. It's just… ponies helpin' _me _out? Ain't somethin' Ah'd like to get used to, ya know." She smiled to herself, bringing her gaze back up to the concerned alicorn.

"Some things never change," Twilight grinned. "So I'm guessing there's something you want to tell me?"

"Not sure if Ah _want _to, but what the hay, Ah don't seem to have much choice in the matter. And you're right, anyway."

"About what?"

"Certain things," Applejack replied sourly, appearing lost in thought. "Things Ah maybe haven't thought of in a long while. Can we… can we maybe talk somewhere a bit quieter?"

Twilight nodded, leading the way outside. Perhaps the most fitting place would be none other than the Royal Canterlot Gardens, she concluded. Applejack plodded by her side, looking very much unlike the confident, brazen mare that usually inhabited the farm pony's body. But this was all for a good cause.

Though the Royal Complex was certainly buzzing with activity, the gardens were practically empty save for the odd couple taking a romantic stroll. It was a shame really, since this was the time of year when the gardens were at their most beautiful. Lining some of the trees were magical lanterns that slowly shifted through different colours. The gardeners had kept the topiary sculptures in tip-top condition, and with the distant chatter and occasional bouts of classical music coming from the main palace, everything cohered into a most pleasant atmosphere.

The two ponies took to a lone bench under a towering chestnut tree. While they weren't _completely _alone — Twilight's personal guards stationed themselves at a respectable distance away — Applejack was already appearing more at ease, a relaxed sigh escaping her mouth.

"Ah've gotta admit, this place makes me kinda jealous," the farm pony remarked, taking a look at her surroundings. "Best Ah can do with a hedge is tear at it like a weed."

"There goes my plan to employ you as head gardener," Twilight joked. "Now… What did you want to tell me?"

The farm pony took a deep breath, the smile dropping from her face. "This is kinda hard for me to put into words — Ah never was a champion linguist as you can prob'ly guess — but Ah'll give it mah best shot."

"Take your time," Twilight said softly.

"Right. Well, you were askin' me about if Ah was happy with everythin' in mah life, and Ah can't say Ah'm _not_, but then again, it's about more than that, ain't it? Ever since mah folks passed on Ah knew Ah wanted to carry on the family tradition and run the farm, just like mah family has done for generations. That side of me ain't changin' no time soon. It'd make 'em proud, you know? But maybe… Oh, Ah don't know…"

"Know what?"

"When I done accused you of pityin' me, it was 'cause Ah've done the same thing. There ain't no use hiding it; you've all gone on to do great things. As for Big Mac an' Fluttershy, darn it, you should see 'em sometimes. It's like they ain't got a care in the world. Ah'm happy with mah life, but… Ah ain't _that _happy."

"So... You want what they have?" Twilight asked, trying to pick her words carefully.

"If you're talkin' about findin' mahself that special somepony, Ah dunno. When Ah was younger it just seemed like the sort of thing that was just gonna happen, like it was just one of those things that was a part of life. Truth be told, Ah can't bring mahself to find somepony just for the sake of it. Ah've been on a few dates in the past couple years, but nothin' ever came of 'em. Honestly, Ah only agreed to them 'cause Ah felt like Ah _needed _to if Ah wanted to be normal like everypony else."

"But there's no need for you to feel pressured into having a relationship."

"Doesn't change the fact that Ah _do _feel that way sometimes," Applejack said glumly, crossing her forelegs. "Otherwise, Ah'm just doin' what Ah've always done. Just workin' on the farm, workin' on the farm. It's painful for me to even say this, but…" The mare blushed slightly, her gaze drifting off into the distance. "Ah'm jealous of you."

"Jealous?" Twilight exclaimed.

"Don't be actin' so surprised," Applejack commented. "And it's not just you. You were right. We've all done so much, except for me."

Twilight could see the earth pony's eyes begin to water. Without hesitation, she wrapped her hooves around her friend and pulled her into a tight embrace, one that Applejack reciprocated fully, clutching her tightly and resting her head against the alicorn's shoulder.

"I'm here to help you, Applejack. I want nothing more than for my friends to be happy. Whatever it is you want just tell me and I'll do everything in my power to make it happen."

"That's just it," Applejack choked, a tear falling down her cheek and onto Twilight's fur. "Ah don't know what Ah want."

The two ponies held each other for another minute or so, both wrestling with their emotions. Twilight had predicted that her friend might have been stuck in a rut, but to see her break down like this tore at her heartstrings. Applejack had always been the boldest, most confident member of the group. Had she been in terrible pain this whole time? _Even the Element of Honesty must have secrets, _Twilight told herself, holding the distraught mare even tighter.

"Then I'll help you find what it is that you want," Twilight said firmly, releasing her grasp a little and looking into her friend's tear-filled eyes.

"An' you won't tell anypony about this, right?" There was a hint of desperation in Applejack's voice.

"Not if you don't want me to."

"Good, 'cause… Ah think that's for the best. For now, at least. Ah need to get mah head straight. Some things have got me thinkin' about the future, what's gonna happen in fifty years' time."

Twilight felt a lump form in her throat.

"Ah don't wanna look back an' think that Ah've done nothin' with mah life, ya know?"

Twilight hesitated momentarily, her mind being brought back to Celestia's book. Nothing had been said since that day; nothing to remind her of the truth. How could she even relate to Applejack's predicament? She'd almost forgotten about all this, and now…

Twilight snapped herself back to reality, smiling to her friend and nodding sagely. "You don't need to worry about that. You've done more to be proud of than you know."

"Thanks, Twi." Applejack gave another quick hug, a small grin appearing on her face. "It feels good to get things off mah chest." She hopped down from the bench, looking more cheerful than she had that entire evening. "What do ya say we get back to the party? Can't leave our friends hangin'."

* * *

The rest of the night went smoothly, despite Rainbow Dash almost getting into a fight. (The other mare supposedly 'turned her nose up at her' which was enough to get the cocky pegasus riled up) Rarity's attempts to woo Fancy Pants were cut short once she'd spotted Spike and Sweetie Belle 'acting suspiciously', but her accusations were met with the pair admitting that they'd lost Scootaloo to a drink-induced frenzy and were desperately searching for her. Thankfully, the teenager was found with Fluttershy, whose sympathy towards the young pegasus was only matched by her unspoken fury towards Spike and Sweetie Belle for letting this happen at all. Most surprisingly, Pinkie had been behaving herself, subjecting the rest of them to just 'moderate' levels of fun.

Applejack stayed at Twilight's side for the rest of the night. She never was the type to show such obvious signs of thanks and affection, though Twilight guessed that she was never the type to expel her pent-up emotions either. It was only natural that she would feel drawn to the pony doing their best to help her, but that's what Twilight was afraid of. Being relied upon by the citizens of Equestria to keep the province in check was nothing compared to being relied upon by a friend in need. And this wasn't some small problem that could be settled by friends working together or with a simple act of kindness. Hay, even the day her friends' cutie marks switched she had only needed to bring them together and let the rest happen on its own. But this was something that Applejack had entrusted to her, and _only _to her. A problem with no real answer, and that wasn't all…

"_Ah don't wanna look back an' think that Ah've done nothin' with mah life, ya know?"_

Twilight took a deep breath. _No._ She wasn't about to let her petty inner turmoil ruin the time spent with her friends. After all, that's what she wanted from this night in the first place, right? To make the most of her time with her friends? In a hundred or so years that's all she would have to remember—

"My goodness, Princess Twilight! It is a real pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise." Twilight gestured for the stallion — a white-coated earth pony wearing a tuxedo — to rise.

"My name is Broadsheet, and I was hoping that perhaps I could… Well, if it's alright with you… Since it would be such an honour and…"

"To the point please," Twilight said with the utmost politeness.

"M-many apologies," the stallion stuttered, bowing once again. "I'm a photographer for a local newspaper, you see. I would be thrilled if I could snap a picture of you and your friends. I would even be willing to give all of you a copy, just to show my gratitude."

"Ooh! A picture!?" Pinkie piped up, leaping out of nearby tree and startling the two of them. "That would be super-duper!"

"That'll be a yes," Twilight said with a smirk as the pink menace zoomed across the forecourt, rounding up her friends in a frenzied blur.

"W-where am I?" Rarity asked confusedly, her eyes rolling as she stumbled about dizzily. "Fancy Pants? What have you done with your mane? It looks positively fabulous!"

"Get off!" screamed Rainbow Dash as Rarity brushed a hoof through her mane. "I'm not Fancy Pants, you crazy mare!"

"I think I'm… I'm gonna be sick…" Scootaloo groaned, leaning onto Spike's shoulder for support.

"What're you doing!?" the dragon exclaimed. "Don't be sick on me!"

"Oh, we're having our photo taken?" Fluttershy whimpered, eyeing Broadsheet's camera. "Oh no, what if I look hideous? I think my mane is out of shape. Will this photo be all over the newspapers!? Meaning everypony in Equestria will see me like this!?"

"Settle down, everypony!" Twilight ordered, instantly simmering down her crazed mob of friends in one fell swoop.

"Ah do love it when ya do that," remarked Applejack with a half-grin.

As Twilight and her friends lined up in front of Broadsheet's camera stand, the young princess took a look from side to side at all of her friends. This was what she treasured most, right? To be alongside the very ponies that had turned her life around, made her into the noble mare she was today?

"OK, everypony. Just move in a little closer."

Of course, these were the moments that she would remember in years to come, the ones that she would cherish. She had formed unbreakable bonds with these ponies. She relished their company. To be with them was to live life the way she always wanted. _What I always wanted…_

"Now say cheese!"

_So why do I feel so—_

"**Cheese!"**

There was a brief flash, followed by sighs of relief. Broadsheet tapped a few buttons on the side of the metallic camera box and stood back proudly as several reams of paper slid from a compartment on the back. The stallion held one close to his face with a critical eye, a smile forming on his face.

"They've come out wonderfully!" he exclaimed, gazing over it excitedly. "The wonders of modern technology, eh?"

His upbeat comment was met by Scootaloo unceremoniously vomiting across the freshly cut grass. "I don't feel so good…" she mumbled.

"I hope you've learned a lesson today," scowled Rainbow Dash, looking over her adopted sister. "You need to learn your limits!"

"But I thought you said limits were for losers," Scootaloo replied groggily.

"Um, did I say that? Oh, well, I uh…"

Twilight fought the urge to face-hoof as Broadsheet looked on at her friends with a degree of disgust. "Here you are, Princess! I do hope you deem it to be acceptable."

Twilight took the photograph handed to her with her telekinesis and gave a polite nod. "This is _more_ than acceptable. In fact, it looks…"

"Is… Is there something wrong?"

"No, there's nothing wrong. It honestly looks… _wonderful_."

The night was coming to a close. It hadn't been eventful in the traditional sense, but it had been interesting to say the least. Twilight said her goodbyes, wishing them all a safe return. Pinkie reacted the most irrationally, crying melodramatically into her shoulder and blabbering about something incomprehensible. However, she was instantly brought back to normality at the mere mention of cupcakes.

As Twilight slinked up to her room on the upper floor of the Royal Complex — saying goodnight to Claymore and Scimitar in the process — she looked down upon the photograph that she could barely tear her eyes from. It would be a memento, a sign of time well spent with her friends. Things might have changed, but their friendship was still the same. It was a heart-warming thought.

Pacing into her room, Twilight took a small roll of tape from one of her drawers and stuck the photograph to her bedside mirror. She smiled as she thought of its significance, that she would wake up every morning and see her friends' faces, albeit without Applebloom or Big Macintosh. _It's such a shame they couldn't come, _she thought to herself as she scooted into bed. It was then that she spotted her other photograph, one that rested on one of her cabinets in a dull and slightly dusty frame. She floated it across to her, remembering the day that it was taken. It was just after she and her friends had defeated Nightmare Moon and brought Luna back to her original splendour. That was so long ago, and yet…

Twilight's smile faded in an instant. Her hooves shaking, she slipped the old photograph from its frame and brought it up to the mirror, to the photo that had just been taken not more than a few hours ago.

_Decay._

It was the first word to spring to mind. How many years had it been since she'd met her friends? Seven? Eight? It felt as if it had only happened yesterday. But signs of the passage of time were there. Their faces… _Oh Celestia, their faces… _It was the subtle fading in the shade of their fur, the creases and wrinkles that now adorned their living form. Whittled away… _Soon to be dust, soon to be dust, soon to be…_

But there was one exception. Twilight looked between the two pictures at her own visage, a lone tear trickling down her left cheek. She was perfect. Flawless. Nothing had been lost. The same youth. The same beauty. In that moment, memories of Celestia's book flooded back to her. The feelings of remorse and terror that had plagued her — the feelings that had been pushed down for so long now bursting to the surface in a torrent of heart-scathing dejection, every glimmer of happiness drowning in a sea of misery. The Princess had lived countless years without attaining a single mark of aging. But in those photos, her friends… They grew old. And so did the next group of friends. So quickly, in but the blink of an eye to an immortal being. And the next. And the next. And so on and so forth forever and ever and ever and ever and—

There was a knock at the door.

"Twilight? You in there?"

_I can't let her in. I can't let her see me like this. _"Y-yes?"

"Ah just wanted to speak with ya real quick before Ah head back. Hope ya don't mind but Ah don't really want the others hearin' about it."

The door began to slowly creak open.

_No! Don't come in! _"Applejack, I would really love to talk, but—"

"But what? What in the hay is goin' on in there?"

The door was pushed open further, and Applejack's curious-looking face peered from behind it. Her demeanour dropped in an instant.

_Tell her to leave! She can't possibly be here at a time like this! Tell her that you're OK!_

"Sugarcube? Oh mah gosh—"

"I'm not OK," Twilight whimpered. "I'm… I'm really not OK. Applejack…" The alicorn slumped to the floor, sighing deeply. "Looks like we both need help."

Applejack ran to Twilight's aid and embraced her, pulling her close into her chest. "It's gonna be alright, Twi. Just tell me what's wrong and Ah'll do mah best. After all, you're doin' the same for me."

Wordlessly, Twilight raised the two photographs with her magic and floated them in front of Applejack. The farm pony took a few moments to look over them before turning back to her friend.

"Ah'm not sure Ah understand."

"I'm immortal, Applejack," Twilight whispered. "I'm… I'm going to live forever."

There was a long silence between the two mares. Finally, Applejack spoke up. "Ah know, sugarcube. Ah wish Ah could say somethin' but… Ah hoped — we _all_ hoped — that you were OK with that."

"I thought I _was_," Twilight croaked, wiping away another batch of tears. "I had myself convinced for so long. I can't… I can't keep lying to myself anymore."

"You don't have to. You need somepony to talk to, just say the word. But Ah'm afraid it'll have to wait for now. Ah… Ah really need to get goin', sugarcube. Ah'm gonna be late as it is."

"Please don't go!" Twilight cried, latching herself onto Applejack's midsection.

"Ah need to get back home. Ah'm real sorry, an' Ah promise to—"

"_Please_," Twilight pleaded, the thoughts of countless centuries spent without her friends flooding her mind. "I don't want to be alone."

Applejack took a deep breath, finally conceding. "Alright, Twi. I'll do this. For _you_."

* * *

Big Macintosh opened up the front door, an oil lantern held between his teeth. His wife stepped inside with a warm smile.

"How is she?"

Big Mac shook his head sadly, and Fluttershy wrapped her forelegs around him in a loving cuddle. He dropped the lantern to the floor and returned the hug. "Where's Applejack?"

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy said glumly. "She wasn't with me when the rest of us took the train. She said she had to speak to Twilight, so I guess she's running late."

"Ah hope she gets here soon. Ah don't know if she has much time left."

In the adjacent room Granny Smith was led in a small four poster bed, her head propped up with a mountain of pillows. At her side sat Applebloom, who had one hoof wrapped around her grandmother's foreleg. The young filly perked up as Big Mac and Fluttershy crept inside, but quickly became concerned with her sister's absence.

"Who's there?" Granny Smith rasped, barely finding the strength to turn her head.

"It's Macintosh and Fluttershy," Big Mac whispered back, placing the lantern next to the bedside and giving Applebloom a quick hug. "Applejack should be here soon."

Fluttershy nodded assuredly, doing her best not to be overwrought with emotion at the sight of the withered mare. "Yes, I have a feeling she just missed the train, but there was another one scheduled a little later. She'll be here, don't worry."

"That's good to hear," Granny Smith noted, a smile coming to her face. She couldn't see much beyond a mishmash of colours and three blurry figures, but it was enough to know that she was among family. "I always was a fighter. Don't think I can't hold on for little AJ."

Applebloom buried her face into the bedcovers and began to weep. "Ah don't w-want you to go…"

"You'll be fine without me," Granny Smith said as softly as she could, gently placing a hoof on her granddaughter's head. "Us Apples take care of our own, an' you've got some o' the finest siblings you could wish for."

As the hours passed, the old mare became more delirious, her vision slowly fading. She still kept talking to them as if everything was fine, as if she would be ready to spring out of bed the next day and order them around as she'd always done. Soon, the signs became obvious. Big Mac and Applebloom each said their own personal farewell in turn, telling their Granny how proud they would make her, how much they had learned from her — and most of all — how much they loved her. Eventually, her time came. Big Mac, Applebloom and Fluttershy held each other tightly as Granny Smith's eyelids fell and she took her final breath.

Applejack never got to say goodbye.


	3. Chapter 2 - Fallen Apple

Chapter 2 – Fallen Apple

Twilight's mind muddled between sleep and the waking world for a minute or so. The usual sensation of urgency she felt most mornings was overshadowed by a sense of contentment at remaining at rest. Before even opening her eyes she could feel a comforting warmth and hypnotic rise and fall in pressure across her back. Slowly coming to, Twilight opened her eyes, the everyday colours of the royal chambers pervaded by an obscure, orange hoof.

Smiling to herself, Twilight unthinkingly brought Applejack's hoof closer to her face stroked her cheek against it. Memories of the night just gone sprang to mind. At first, she could only think of the two photographs that had caused an emotional breakdown. As a princess, it was necessary to keep her deepest emotions tucked away, which was never a problem until — for whatever reason — keeping them hidden just wasn't possible. She'd been so sure of herself all these years. Ever since that day with Celestia, she was convinced that nothing was amiss, that she could find solace in her memories while countless centuries passed by. Now though, her self-doubt had toppled that unwavering confidence like a battering ram.

And yet, in that particular moment she felt at ease. She could hear Applejack's steady breathing behind her and feel the somewhat ticklish sensation of her breath against the crown of her mane. Cradled in the farm pony's warm embrace, Twilight couldn't help but feel submissive, _subservient _even. Given her prestigious title and status it was a rare feeling. With the possible exception of Celestia, all ponies across the land looked up to her as a guiding hoof, someone belonging to a plane above their mere existence. But there was a comfort in feeling lesser than somepony else, an opportunity to be cared for, to be able to make mistakes. A chance to be less than perfect.

Applejack let out a noise not unlike a hum and snapped Twilight to attention. However, despite shifting in the bed slightly Applejack still seemed to be asleep. Twilight let out a mental sigh of relief. She almost didn't want this experience to end. As embarrassing as it was to finally realise it, this was the most intimate affection she'd ever received.

In a moment of foalish wonder, Twilight brought Applejack's hoof to her mouth and gave it a brief kiss. Surprisingly, the orange mare didn't so much as stir. _Well that was weird. Why did I even do that? _Twilight mused, letting Applejack's hoof fall back onto her cheek. _It's a good thing she wasn't awake or I'd have some serious explaining to do. _

As time passed the sun slowly crept up over the horizon and beamed through the velvet curtains, casting an amber glare across the room. As Twilight began contemplating what her plans for the day should be — as if on cue — Applejack let out a short breath and awoke.

"Hey, you awake, sugarcube?" she whispered, causing Twilight to flick her left ear involuntarily.

"Mm-hmm," Twilight responded, silently chiding herself for not pretending to be asleep for just a little while longer.

"Ah gotta say, Ah ain't had such a good night's sleep in years."

Twilight blushed as Applejack sighed contentedly to herself, the mare's chest bowing against her spine. "Oh, r-really?" Twilight mumbled, searching desperately for an appropriate response. "M-me too?"

"Guess there's some real perks to bein' a princess. Ah can't tell if it's this mattress, or maybe these pillows. Ah just can't put mah hoof on it."

"Y-yeah, they're, um…" Twilight trailed off as Applejack shifted beside her, burying her head deeper into the pillow. She soon became aware that she'd been holding her breath, and quickly exhaled.

"Oh well," Applejack said with a yawn, bringing her hoof back up and scratching at her unkempt mane. "Guess we'd better oil the springs an' fire up the old muscles."

The orange earth pony sat up straight, tilting her neck until a gratifying _click _rang out and rolled her shoulders one after another. Grabbing her trademark Stetson from the dressing table, she tossed away the duvet and stretched out her hind legs, letting out a satisfied grunt.

Twilight propped herself up against the headboard and rubbed her eyes. Her left wing ached tremendously, though she expected that was from being restricted by Applejack's foreleg throughout the night. Flexing it back and forth a few times did ease _some_ of the tension, but it would be a while before it was back to normal. Admittedly, she seldom took to the skies unless it was absolutely necessary, so this was hardly a setback.

Twilight finished her impromptu workout to spy Applejack waiting patiently at the foot of the bed, smiling just the way she always did. It might have sounded odd, but in many ways Twilight envied Applejack. Always stubborn, she could imagine the earth pony being offered wings or a horn, and turning them down with a simple shake of the head and a "thank ye kindly." Twilight couldn't even imagine getting through life without her magic, and being confined to the ground was a thing of the past. If she lost her horn and wings she'd feel like a cripple, while hard-working ponies like Applejack got through life without either, taking care of entire orchards just fine.

"You alright there?" Applejack asked curiously, cutting through the silence.

"Feeling a lot better, thanks," Twilight replied, scooting out of bed and moving to the bedside mirror. Taking a quick glance, she could see a few strands of golden-blonde hair peering out through her mane. She gave it a quick brush and turned back to her friend, who was gazing around at the various paintings on the wall of famous ponies from history, including a portrait of Starswirl the Bearded.

"Can't say this fancy stuff appeals to mah tastes." Applejack smirked, turning back to Twilight. "Ah gotta be honest, pictures of some moody old wizard ain't gonna do much to cheer you up. Maybe Ah should get Pinkie and Applebloom to come re-decorate. Guarantee they'd brighten the place up."

"And see crudely drawn moustaches on all of my paintings?" Twilight shot back with a grin. Admittedly, Applejack _did _have a point. "How is Applebloom, anyway?"

"Doin' just fine. Says she wants to be an interior designer or somethin'. Ya know, Ah sure do reckon any colt-friend she finds will be in for a shock when they see that adorable little mare ploughin' through DIY like it ain't no bother." Applejack took a deep breath and smiled to herself. "Ah'd really best be goin', Twi."

"So soon?" Twilight asked disappointedly.

"Ah'm afraid so." Applejack walked over and gave Twilight a quick hug. "You take care o' yourself. Ah guess you've been goin' through a lot, and… Well, Ah'm always willin' to lend an ear if you need help."

"You too." Twilight draped a wing around her friend. "I promised to help, didn't I? You know, whenever you get some free time, we should do something together. Being a princess does have its perks; anything you want to do I can probably arrange." She paused, staring into Applejack's hopeful green eyes. "I'm sure I find something that makes you happy."

"Alright, enough with the mushy stuff," Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. "Ya got me blushin' over here. But thanks, Twi. Ah really do appreciate it."

Applejack quickly got changed back into her dress from the night before — feeling slightly awkward to be wearing it _after _the Gala but not having much choice if she wanted to take her belongings with her — and the two friends made their way through the Royal Complex. Twilight gave a polite nod to her personal guards, unaware of their perplexed glances to each other at the sight of their princess leaving her room with a mare sporting a suspiciously frayed mane. Scimitar raised his eyebrows suggestively, to which Claymore thwacked him around the head.

Twilight accompanied Applejack to the train station, still feeling strangely upbeat from her friend's act of immense kindness. Taking care of her like a mother would a scared little filly… She was determined more than ever to find a way to repay her. After all, if there was anypony who deserved a joyful life, it was Applejack. Heavens knew how she'd be able to let her go…

"Sorry Ah couldn't stay any longer," Applejack said as they reached the platform, rows of smartly-dressed citizens lined up with luggage in hoof. "Ah must say Ah wouldn't have minded a tour o' the big city, but duty calls."

"It's OK, I understand. I'm just glad you could spend the night with me. I mean…" Twilight face-hoofed, her cheeks growing red. "Well, that came out a bit wrong."

"Don't sweat it," Applejack said dismissively. "Ah couldn't leave you like that, could Ah? What are friends for?"

Within a few minutes the train arrived. The two friends said their goodbyes and shared a tender hug before Applejack stepped on, finding herself a nearby seat. Twilight waved enthusiastically as the train started up, slowly chugging its way into the distance. She sighed and turned on her hoof, politely smiling to a group of ecstatic foals and making her way back to the palace, meeting up with her personal guards along the way. There were duties to attend to, of course, and her daily breakfast with Princess Celestia, a tradition that would surely carry on forever. Twilight shuddered at that thought and let it go, taking a deep breath.

"Morning, Princess," Scimitar greeted as the two stallions marched to her side. "Sleep well?"

Claymore shot his colleague a disapproving glace which the younger guard shrugged off. Twilight was somewhat confused with this exchange but answered his question all the same. "Quite alright, thank you."

"And did your _friend_ sleep OK?"

"Stop it, Scimitar!" Claymore ordered, taking both ponies by surprise. He cleared his throat and regained posture. "Apologies for raising my voice, your highness. I simply don't feel that my fellow guard was being entirely respectful to you."

Twilight scrunched up her face confusedly. "He… wasn't being respectful?"

"That is my own opinion," Claymore professed. "I of course hold your opinion higher than anypony's, but I feel that a line must be drawn. Your private life should never be up for discussion."

Twilight's cheeks grew hot as she looked to Scimitar. The stallion was tensing his lips, just barely stifling a laugh. "That's… That's not what happened," she protested.

"No explanation is necessary, your highness," Claymore affirmed, his steely demeanour unperturbed by Twilight's suspicious response.

"I think it is," Twilight replied, trying desperately not to let her anxiety show. "My relationship with Applejack is entirely platonic, and I will not stand for any false assumptions that it is anything more than that. I merely offered my friend the privilege of sleeping in the Royal Quarters, a favour to support her during a difficult time. I am sure you are both aware that she is not in the best of conditions, hence our conversation in the gardens yesterday evening. Understood?"

"Understood," the two guards said in unison, and the walk carried on.

_I can't believe they thought that! _Twilight mused. _Though I guess it must've been peculiar seeing us both come out of the bedroom this morning. Me and Applejack? Dating? That's the most far-fetched thing I've ever heard. _A rouge thought of Applejack curled up next to her passed by, but Twilight was quick to extinguish it. _No. It's just preposterous. Impossible, even._

Bringing her mind back to more important matters, Twilight considered that aside from what her guards obviously _thought _had happened, there was no denying that something between her and Applejack had changed. It was enough to see the head-strong earth pony lose her cool — effectively breaking down in front of her — but being asked not to speak of the matter at hoof to anyone else put her in an awkward position. Just how was she going to help her? Applejack wanted more from life, but had no idea about what 'more' meant. Twilight had a feeling that this may have been a problem for several years, maybe even before she came to Ponyville. Just thinking about her friend being in pain all this time sent a warm flood of guilt across the back of her head. When she voiced her suspicions to Applejack at the Gala she never expected the mare to be so distraught by it. But at least now that it was out in the open, something could be done about it.

_But why did I get so hysterical? _Twilight mused silently as the three ponies neared the palace gates. She considered the phenomenon known as emotional synchronisation. Could Applejack's intense emotions have triggered something inside of her? Seeing her close friend in such a state wasn't exactly going to make her happy, but perhaps there was something more to it.

Twilight tried to think back to the last time she'd suffered such an outburst, sifting through years of memories. However, only one moment stuck out to her: The day Celestia showed her that book. And yet, even then she had recovered from it quickly. Now, however, the pain hadn't gone away. Truth be told, her heart still ached. Applejack's company had helped somewhat, but not enough. It seemed tragically hopeless for the pair of them. Twilight had no idea how to help Applejack, and there was no way Applejack would know how to help _her_.

Twilight once again considered seeking guidance from Princess Celestia on the matter. She had more knowledge and experience dealing with immortality than anyone… _So why don't I want to speak to her again? _It was a question that Twilight couldn't quite answer herself. Despite making logical sense, her gut instinct fought against the idea. Maybe it was because the very method Celestia had used to cheer her up had eventually become the reason for distress. Looking at photographs of long-forgotten ponies from the past was like examining a collection of fictional characters. Understanding the principle of treasuring their memories seemed simple enough, but it hadn't felt _real_. But looking between the two photographs of her beloved friends was as real as it got.

It was at times like this Twilight wished she believed in an afterlife. As a foal, her family was fairly religious, and passage into 'the great beyond' was considered an irrefutable fact. However, as the years passed Twilight found herself falling from those beliefs and finding her own, much more depressing 'truth' to believe in.

Twilight sighed under her breath and soldiered on, wishing for a moment that Applejack was at her side, spouting words of encouragement. _She's a better mare than I could ever hope to be…_

* * *

Applejack took to the nearest seat as the train sprang into action. After a few minutes of shuffling uncomfortably in her dress she eventually took it off completely, leaving it folded up on her saddlebags. That garnered her a few curious looks, but she wasn't in the mood for caring. She still had a problem with pretty dresses; things hadn't changed much in that regard.

Running through her mind was a list of chores that would need seeing to the moment she got back. Staying in Canterlot had never been part of the plan, but she'd left early enough to have time for just about everything. That might take her into the late evening, but that was OK. The biggest trouble would be coming up with a suitable excuse for not arriving home the previous night. The Apples were notorious worry-warts when it came to family, so she hoped to the high heavens that Big Mac hadn't put together a search party.

Still, she couldn't possibly have left a friend in need. Twilight had been there to bear the brunt of her pathetic life problems, so it was only fair to return the favour. If anything, at least Twilight's concerns were coherent. Getting depressed over _nothing _made Applejack feel utterly worthless. Surely everypony wanted a little more from life; there was no such thing as being _truly _content. _So why am Ah so darn upset about it? _Applejack cursed inwardly. She'd been taught to look on the bright side of life, but apparently that wasn't enough. _And now Ah'm getting' more depressed thinkin' about how depressed Ah am over nothin'. Way to go, AJ. _

Within an hour or so the train pulled up to Ponyville station. Losing all concern for the state of her dress she tossed it haphazardly over her back before putting on her saddlebags, an act she quickly regretted as the fabric slowly massed itself into a crumpled heap at the base of her neck with each step, becoming more uncomfortable than if she'd simply worn it.

The long walk back to Sweet Apple Acres provided her with just the rejuvenation she needed. Canterlot was a busy, stuffy place. With the exception of the Royal Gardens and a few patches of green, the city was bereft of flora and fauna. The air in Ponyville was somehow cleaner, more natural. It was no surprise that life in Manehattan hadn't suited her; this place really was _home_.

Sweet Apple Acres came into view, to which Applejack steeled herself, ready to apologise for her absence. She didn't want to incriminate Twilight in any way — she couldn't allude to the dwindling mental state of a Princess of Equestria without some serious repercussions — but she didn't want to outright lie. And so, she would just tell them that she didn't feel so well, and couldn't turn down Twilight's offer to stay in a deluxe palace suite. That was _sort of _the truth, which would have to be good enough.

As she walked closer, she could already imagine Big Mac overreacting. Ever since Granny got sick a week ago they all took it upon themselves to take care of her, but it was Big Mac who got a bad case of paranoia, seemingly convinced that the bolshie old mare was at death's door. Granted, she wasn't exactly in the best shape, but Applejack had seen her pull through worse and come out the other side kicking and dancing. "Yer only as old as ya feel," she had always said. Just thinking about it made Applejack smile.

Big Mac wasn't even pleased with her going to the Gala, but when she explained to him just how much it meant to her he finally conceded. Applebloom also wanted to go — especially since it was the first time she would be allowed, along with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo — but caught a case of the Big Mac blues and decided to stay. Not that Applejack wasn't proud of her little sister for doing that. In fact it just showed how much she cared about her family, a trait that every Apple was destined to have.

Taking a deep breath, Applejack opened the door. "Howdy, folks!" she called out through the empty corridor. She passed through to the living room and dropped her dress and saddlebags. A quick stretch and she continued on through to the kitchen. Nopony there, so she wandered upstairs, wondering for a moment if her siblings had snagged themselves a cheeky morning snooze courtesy of her absence. Applebloom had never been one to appreciate the early morning breakfast call, something that only became more prominent during her teenage years.

Applejack put her ear to Applebloom's door, the clear sound of a snoring mare resonating through the wood. _Aha! Caught you! _Applejack promptly kicked the door open. "Wakey wakey! Rise an'…"

To her surprise, Applebloom wasn't the only one present. Big Mac and Fluttershy were both stood at Applebloom's bedside, their faces overwrought with sleep deprivation. It reminded Applejack of the time she refused help from her friends and tried to tackle the entire orchard alone, only to spend her waking moments in a daze. Applebloom opened her eyes to the noise and let out a yawn. Instead of looking up at Applejack with the usual demeanour of a disgruntled teenager, her expression was one of immense worry. Applebloom, Big Mac and Fluttershy looked between themselves for a moment before finally turning back to face Applejack.

"What's goin' on?" the orange earth pony asked, trying to decipher the situation. "Applebloom, yer not sick, are ya?"

Applebloom shook her head solemnly, once again turning back to Big Mac. He stroked through her mane and nodded. Wordlessly, he gestured for Applejack to come towards him. She did so hesitantly, her mind swimming with questions. She'd not seen her brother like this since…

Big Mac wrapped his hooves around her in a tight hug, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Granny's g-gone…" he sobbed.

Nothing else needed to be said. Applejack's heart sank inside her chest as the truth dawned on her. Tears she didn't know existed suddenly burst from her eyes. She wanted to believe that this was just a bad dream, that she was still led in Twilight's bed, just on the verge of waking up. But that wasn't true.

After a few moments, Applebloom clambered from her bed and joined them, as the three remaining Apples in Ponyville embraced each other, their cries echoing throughout Sweet Apple Acres. Peering up through the mounds of grief and sadness Applejack felt something else — another emotion that grew more powerful with every second.

Regret.

_Ah'm so sorry, Granny. Ah'm so sorry…_

* * *

Twilight delicately churned her fork through the main course in front of her — butternut squash and pear ravioli with rosemary sauce. It was an undeniably well-crafted dish bursting with flavour, but Twilight couldn't bring herself to finish it. She prodded one of the pear chunks, flirting with the idea of another bite. She was far from full, but the feeling of base hunger was missing. It became apparent that depression still lingered at the back of her mind, as much as she wanted to pretend that it had subsided.

"I trust your dish is up to standard," Princess Celestia said from the other side of the table, tending to her mouth with a napkin.

"Oh it's great, believe me," Twilight quickly replied. "I'm just not feeling very hungry right now."

Celestia paused, examining her protégé with a close eye. She smiled and continued with her meal, pouring herself another drink from a china teapot. There was an awkward silence for a few minutes as Twilight simply stayed seated, nodding politely as the remains of her meal were taken away.

Celestia motioned for the kitchen staff to leave and cleared her throat. "I think last night's Gala was a success, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes, of course. It all came together in the end, didn't it? No mishaps or catastrophes this time." Twilight let out a nervous chuckle.

"That certainly was a bonus. Did your friends enjoy themselves?"

"Yes, I think so."

Celestia pondered this answer for a moment, made wary of Twilight's lack of enthusiasm after such a momentous occasion. "Is that all? Surely you must have a few interesting stories. Go on, tell me all about it."

Twilight sighed and opened her mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by Celestia.

"Unless there's something else on your mind?" Celestia looked down at her protégé with a warm, caring smile. "Remember, you can talk to me about anything."

Twilight shifted her gaze away, realising that she'd been rumbled. "Well, I was just thinking. If it's alright with you, of course."

"Anything you want, Twilight," Celestia assured.

"Well, you see… I was hoping that I could spend some more time with my friends. One of them could really use my help right about now, and I want to be there for them. I know I have my duties, and if I didn't see to them it would mean either you or Luna would have to…" Twilight looked up to her mentor with reddened cheeks, feeling small and insignificant in that moment. "You can see where I'm going with this."

"I see," Celestia replied, furrowing her brow. "I'm sure I can do something."

Twilight blinked. "Really? Just like that?"

"Just like that," Celestia chuckled. "Don't forget that not so long ago, I was the _only_ princess in Equestria."

"Well, that _is _true. But if there's four of us now, how did you manage it alone?"

"Not quite as easily," Celestia said with a smirk. "But I wouldn't say that I was _alone_. I've had many advisors over the years whom I could trust, as well as chancellors and lords who helped me immeasurably in running this province. We still have that now, to an extent."

Twilight smiled as she thought of Spike, whose role had steadily grown in importance over the years since her coronation. He was still prone to his jewel-munching habits, but he made a fine messenger, and had adapted to just about any task that was thrown his way.

"I can't promise a total reprieve," Celestia continued. "But I wouldn't dream of getting between you and your friends. If they need your support, I shall see to it that you have the chance to be there for them."

"Thank you, Celestia. It means more to hear you say that than you could ever know."

* * *

"She's finally asleep," Big Mac muttered, taking a seat next to Applejack. "Ah'd say she needs it."

Applejack nodded in agreement, wiping under her eyes. A deathly silence emanated throughout their home. Nothing but a mantelpiece clock could be heard. That is, until Mac sighed and asked his sister the inevitable.

"Where were you?"

Applejack winced, her attempts at bracing herself for that very question having failed. "Ah stayed with Twilight, Mac. Ah was tired, an' she offered me a place to stay. Please, don't make this any harder for me. Ah never wanted this."

"Ya knew she was ill," Mac said bluntly. "Mare of her age? Doesn't take a genius t' figure it out. Ah knew you shouldn't a' gone in the first place."

"But Ah never expected thi—"

"Ah kept tellin' her you were on your way," Mac muttered, a fresh tear rolling down his cheek. "Ah had to believe you were comin', AJ."

"And Ah _wish_ I'd been there," Applejack replied, resting her head on the stallion's shoulder. "Ah knew how she'd been but… D-did she say anythin' about me?"

"She said she loved ya," Mac said softly. "An' that she was proud of ya. She meant it, an' all. Darn it, sis. If only you'd been here—"

"Ah said Ah wanted to be!" Applejack cried, leaping to her hooves with clenched teeth. "Would ya just drop it!? Hell would Ah know Granny was gonna die!?" She slumped against the back of the sofa, rubbing her hooves down her face. "Don't ya think if Ah could go back, Ah'd have done the right thing? If Ah'd known Granny needed me more than Twilight…"

"Wait, what?" Big Mac asked gruffly, his eyes wide. "Twilight needed you? The heck is that supposed to mean? First you say you was just acceptin' an offer, but that ain't it?"

Applejack clamped her eyes shut, damning herself for alluding to the truth. "She's in a bad place, alright? Let's just leave it at that."

Mac snorted angrily. "_She's _in a bad place? Princess on top o' the world takin' precedence over your sick Granny?"

"Shut up!" Applejack bellowed, staring daggers into her brother's eyes. "Ah screwed up, alright!? May Celestia damn me for not sensin' Granny Smith's impendin' doom! Ya think Ah don't feel bad!?"

Big Mac's cheeks flared up, tears building on his eyes. "You're not the one who had to sit with Granny Smith, tellin' her over an' over that you were on yer way. You never saw it in her eyes when she realised she'd never see you again."

"Because Ah never got that chance! How d'you think Ah feel!?"

"Of course you had the bucking chance!"

The living room door slammed open as Applebloom stormed in, tears streaming across her coat. "Enough!" she screamed, stomping a hoof against the floor. "This ain't how Granny would want us to be! What's wrong with you!?"

Both Applejack and Big Mac hung their heads shamefully. A piercing silence hung in the air for several seconds, the two eldest siblings berating themselves for tarnishing what should have been a tender family moment.

"Ah thought you were asleep," Mac finally muttered.

"Like Ah could sleep with you two bickerin' like whiny foals," Applebloom stated defiantly, shooting her brother and sister with a damning gaze. "Applejack? Just so you know, Ah don't blame you for anythin'. Ah'm sure you had your reasons."

Applejack lowered her gaze, a single tear trickling down her cheek and dropping to the floorboards. Sure, she _did_ have her reasons. Twilight had comforted her when she let loose, and it was only natural to return the favour when Twilight broke down herself. But was that really the right choice? _Why didn't Ah face the truth? _Applejack said internally. _Why did Ah lie to mahself? Why did I think Granny would be OK? Why didn't Ah worry hard enough?_

By the time Applejack had come back to her senses, Applebloom had taken the spot next to her and was gripping her foreleg, stroking her shoulder in a motherly fashion. "Go easy on her, Mac," Applebloom said with a sad smile. "She loved Granny too."

Mac nodded to himself. "Ah know."

Applejack smiled, but she knew that something was still underlying between them. All of Big Mac's fears and worries had come true. His sister — the one who'd stood by him ever since their parents passed — had ignored his cries simply because she didn't _want _to believe that he was right. If she'd taken his word over Twilight's she could've been there for Granny. They could've been there for her as a family, just like she would have wanted.

Applejack held Applebloom close, her throat growing dry as she wracked her brains, trawling through her memories. But, it was to no avail. She hung her head in shame as the realisation came to her. She couldn't remember the last words she'd said to Granny Smith.

And she never would.

* * *

After some eventual convincing, Applebloom finally went back to bed. With some time to themselves, Applejack and Big Mac conceded to the unfortunate task at hoof. Wordlessly, the two siblings headed into Ponyville proper, trying to act as casually as possible. A few ponies might have offered a greeting, but Applejack barely noticed. Things needed to be done.

The funeral directors were kind folk, keeping a calm tone as they explained the process in detail. Cremation was an option, but a burial — as expensive as it was — seemed to be the most logical choice. Granny Smith was a pony who nurtured fruits grown from the earth, so it was only natural that she be returned to the soil that she slaved over for so long.

Choosing a casket felt like a guilt trip in every sense of the term. The more basic designs were affordable, but with that came the necessary respect for the dead. Granny could do without a portrait of the immortal sisters watching over her as she was laid to rest, but she deserved _something_ special, even in death. Or at least, that's all Applejack could think of doing to compensate for her failure.

In the end, they chose a delicately polished oak casket with golden accents. It was beyond their realistic budget, but that somehow didn't seem to matter. Big Mac raised had his eyebrow at the price but said nothing. Applejack wished he could have been more communicative, but guessed that was easier said than done.

The venue for the funeral was quickly set as an area of Sweet Apple Acres known as The Farfields, with six days until the proceedings would take place. Some hymns were chosen — none of which Applejack knew too well — while the music to Granny's descent would be up to some of the more musical members of the Apple family. Applejack assumed they'd be all too willing. They had been at the last Apple funeral, so…

Every moment that she sat there, Applejack wanted to break down and cry. Her innate desire to adhere to social standard kept the tears at bay, but did little to alleviate the pain. It felt as if she was floating above herself, watching these events unfold as a passive observer. It just wasn't _real_. Of course she'd suffered the passing of her parents, but she'd been too young to understand it all. These kinds of responsibilities had never fallen to her, and at the time, they had Granny Smith by their side.

The walk home wasn't much better. Big Mac was as stoic as always — perhaps even more so — which only made Applejack worry that he hated her. Of course he was her brother, and a good, upstanding stallion in his own right, but he wasn't being the affectionate, kind pony that she needed him to be right now. Even sparking up a simple conversation seemed stupid. What was there to talk about besides their dead grandmother?

"Did Granny mention her will?" Applejack asked shakily as they began the trek along the dirt path leading to Sweet Apple Acres.

Big Mac slowed for a moment, a short sigh escaping his lips. "No," was his immediate answer, and the journey continued on. Nothing else was said.

It was then that Applejack scoured through her memories, remembering every instance where the farm took a financial hit, whether it was the result of a storm, settlers bringing competition, crop infestation… Granny had been able to help them out, pulling from her secret savings. And then about two years ago, when the family faced trouble, she had nothing left to give besides her hard work and moral support. She'd given them _everything_. Applejack mouthed a silent "thank you" under her breath as they arrived home, hoping that somehow, Granny could hear her.

Ever since her parents passed away, Applejack had always been told that they were always watching from the sky, always listening through her prayers. As a foal, Applejack believed this without question. She would tell them about her day, make promises and even wave goodbye to the night sky before she slept. Everything she did was to make them proud of her, and she was always so sure that they'd be smiling just beyond the horizon. It filled her with immeasurable joy.

As she got older and that stone-clad belief began to fade, the joy faded with it. She was still happy to prove her worth on principle — even if Mummy and Daddy _weren't _looking down on her — but something was amiss. _Something _had been lost, even if she wasn't sure what it was. And despite her best efforts, one pony had unearthed the side of her that she'd tried to bury for so long. Princess Twilight.

Heart heavy in her chest, Applejack sat to the table with her brother as they pored over a list of their extensive family. With stacks of cards, envelopes and a quill each to hoof, the task of doling out funeral invitations was underway. The Apples had never invested in any kind of printing equipment under the impression that they'd never need it. However, it only made things more agonising as Applejack painstakingly wrote out the same message to her relatives, detailing the loss of Granny Smith and her upcoming funeral. Each completed letter only drove the truth home harder. In some twisted way it reminded Applejack of the time she had to write lines in detention at school.

_Dear Apple family member, Granny Smith is dead._

_Dear Apple family member, Granny Smith is dead._

_Dear Apple family member, Granny Smith is dead._

Applejack rested the quill for a few moments, catching her breath as a torrent of tears came spilling down her face. Big Mac looked up sympathetically, but Applejack waved a hoof at him dismissively, making out that she only needed a moment to recuperate. Applejack took several deep breaths and tried again, reaching for another stack of envelopes. However, with a trembling hoof she only managed to knock them to the floor by accident. Letting out an angry shriek, Applejack thumped on the table, buried her head in her hooves and began to cry softly.

Big Mac dropped down from his chair and pulled his sister in a tight hug, stroking the back of her mane. "Come on now," he whispered. "You can do this, AJ. For Granny."

"Ah know, Mac. Ah know…"

* * *

_One day later_

_Hmm, this could be good. I've always wanted to know more about it so maybe that one could… No, no, no. Knowing Applejack she'd fall asleep before it was over. What was I thinking? _Twilight tossed the leaflet entitled _Gigaparsec — Canterlot's Planetarium _to the floor and levitated a pamphlet depicting various landmarks towards her.

In the day since she'd last seen Applejack, Twilight had requested information on attractions in and around Equestria, determined to find something worthwhile to do with her friend. In her mind, a simple friendly visit wouldn't suffice. Applejack needed cheering up, and the first step to helping her would be to find something enjoyable to do. If everything went as planned, she could solve Applejack's problems all while spending quality time with her beloved friend. At the very least, she could expect to find a reason to smile.

What Twilight _hadn't _expected was a mountain of paperwork delivered to her door by an enthusiastic purple dragon. Supposedly after Twilight's brief request Spike had caught wind of her wishes and practically ordered the palace's workers into overdrive, insisting that every last amusement park, holiday destination or possible outing was found immediately. For a dragon whose duties were technically spread equally between all of the princesses and even beyond, it was typical of him to overreact to anything Twilight said. It was endearing, sure, but more often than not slightly counter-productive. Sifting through the mounds of tourist hotspots was a gargantuan task, even for the speed-reading bookworm.

So far this morning she'd spent just over an hour sifting through the tower of paper and card, but hadn't gotten any closer to making a decision. She'd come across a translated piece of text about a winery in Cheval famous for its chardonnay. It seemed to make for an appropriate choice. Applejack was a dab hoof at growing all kinds of fruit and vegetables, so she'd undoubtedly find something to be interested in at the vineyards. Not to mention the prospect of exquisite wines, which Twilight found all too enticing.

There was information on a tour of its facilities along with a list of its most popular brands, along with details of exclusive wines with price ranges beyond triple digits. As princess, paying for such things wouldn't be a huge problem. Twilight giggled at the thought of her and Applejack getting lashed on drinks costing more than a royal chariot.

"_Ah do have t'admit, this here char-donney really hits the spot."_

"_It's pronounced 'chardonnay', Applejack. Not to be confused with the less acclaimed pinot blanc, of course. They're both very similar in terms of the grapes used to produce them, though chardonnay grapes produce a more golden colouring when ripening… Are you even listening?"_

"_Listenin'? Sure. Takin' notice? You know Ah ain't got the know how 'bout that stuff. So long as it makes mah tongue tingle and mah legs go all wobbly, not much else Ah care about."_

"_I thought as much. Any better than Granny's famous apple cider?"_

"_That ain't fair, Twi. Not with how much you done paid for these things. But ya know, Ah think it's all goin' to mah head. Feelin' kinda sleepy."_

"_Do… Do you need to lie down?"_

"_Well if ya don't mind, maybe Ah could just rest mah head on your shoulder for a little while."_

"_Well… I don't have a problem with that. Um… You get as comfortable as you want."_

"_Well thanks, Twi. It sure is nice spendin' time with you. Ah could just rest here fer—"_

Twilight's daydreaming was interrupted by a knock at the door. Shaking her head to rid herself of any remnant of that stupid imaginary event, Twilight levitated her crown into place. "I'll be right on out," she called.

Claymore was there to greet her, a stern look on his face. He gave a momentary salute and cleared his throat. "You have a visitor, your highness."

"What visitor? I didn't organise a meeting," Twilight replied prudently. She'd only just managed to be rid of a few key duties, and those leaflets weren't going to read themselves. As much as she hated to be rude, in the end, the princesses had precedence over virtually everyone in Equestria and beyond. Sometimes, it was all too tempting to take advantage of that fact. "How urgent is it?"

"It's one of your friends, if I'm not mistaken. Made quite a fuss to see you this morning. I believe she's in the throne room with Princess Celestia at present."

Twilight's ears perked up. _Friend? Talking with Celestia? Applejack? Could it really be Applejack? _Twilight straightened herself up and nodded sagely to her guard. "Thank you, Claymore. I shall get right on it."

"Of course, Princess." Claymore gave a quick bow and returned to his post as Twilight trotted eagerly along the marbled floor of the palace, her mind abuzz with speculation about Applejack's return. It was a big surprise — though hardly an unwelcome one— from the kind of level-headed mare who held courtesy and planning in high regard. Alternatively, it could just be that she'd lost something while at the Gala, which didn't seem like Applejack either. Twilight pondered on all kinds of possibilities as she strode onwards, wondering for a moment if she could arrange an impromptu visit to the vineyard she'd just been reading about.

Twilight turned the corner towards the main throne room and cantered in through the open doors, the four surrounding guards saluting as she entered. It was then that she spotted Princess Celestia speaking with…

"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight said aloud, sounding unintentionally disappointed. "I… I mean, Rainbow Dash! What brings you here?"

Rainbow Dash turned away from Celestia, revealing the most morose expression Twilight had seen on the multi-coloured pegasus in years. She gave a weak smile. "Hey, Twilight. This is, um… Well, it's not good news."

Twilight cocked her head, feeling a pang of anxiety pulse across her heart. Celestia's own solemn expression was enough to send shivers down her spine. "Oh? Well, what is it?"

Rainbow Dash handed over a small envelope which Twilight took with her magic. As she deftly tore it open and began to read through it, Rainbow Dash spoke again in a nervous tone. "I tried to get here as soon as I could. You could've waited for the postal service, but you know how things are with them. We… We could get flying there now if you…"

The trembling pegasus trailed off as Twilight dropped the card to the floor, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "When did she pass?" she asked, feeling as if she knew that answer already.

Rainbow Dash hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath. "It was the night of the Gala. Shall we… Shall we get moving?"

Twilight let out a weary sigh. She knew now what this meant. Applejack's insistence to leave first thing in the morning, her emotional troubles, her hesitance at staying the night… It all made sense now.

"Twilight? Come on, let's go."

"Of course."

The two friends spread their wings and took flight to Sweet Apple Acres. Throughout the journey they talked at length about Granny Smith and all that she had done, her charming quirks and the legacy that she would leave behind. Twilight didn't care to mention that all she could think about was Applejack. Her friend had been there for her when she'd broken down at the thought of losing her loved ones, and now...

Yet despite every ounce of grief, worry and guilt in Twilight's mind, one emotion stood above all others.

Regret.

_I'm so sorry, Applejack. I'm so sorry…_


End file.
